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I fucking said you are a pussy ass hoe, got it? I’ll have YOU know we ran y’all bitch ass niggas out of Afghanistan. I was blowing y’all up to smithereens before sleepy Joe called it off and didn’t want you motherfuckers to keep dropping like flies so keep telling lies. And we ran your profile, you have 8 meals cooked and 3 bathrooms cleaned you pussy ass liar, why are you telling people you have 300 confirmed kills, we don’t kill and tell, we run the stat sheets. We got you beat. You’ve never even been on the field. I’ve been rocking an AK-47 since 13 years old protecting the homeland. Russia tried and got fucked! USA tried and got manhandled. What, y’all think y’all did something? Bitch ass nigga we them boys! Y’all motherfuckers can’t do anything except submit to the devil. I call you to islam, but until then we’re enemies. Buddy is talking about secret spies and some other bullshit about IP’s. You’re a keyboard warrior. Pussy ass nigga see me on the playing field. Bitch ass nigga we them boys, we took over the government and fucking televised it. Y’all niggas throwing money to Ukraine with nothing to show for it pussy ass nigga you not a navyseal, keep it real.

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. 'Shrek is love', I would say, 'Shrek is life'. My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, 'This is my swamp'. He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, 'It's all ogre now'. Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.